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What is family mediation?
Family mediation is a structured and confidential conversation between participants, often former spouses or partners, facilitated by a trained mediator. The mediator will help you work out arrangements for your children and finances. The goal of mediation is to help you reach an agreement. You will not have to agree to anything against your wishes.
Most people seek mediation when a marriage or relationship ends, and they need to discuss child arrangements and finances. Mediation can also be helpful when you want to review or adjust existing child arrangements.
The best interests of the children are at the heart of family mediation.
Principles of family mediation
Family mediation is based on four principles: impartiality, confidentiality, self-determination and voluntariness.
Impartiality.
The mediator does not take sides. Their role is to guide the discussion and assist you in exploring solutions. They do not give advice, though they may share information and guidance when appropriate.
Confidentiality.
The discussions or proposals made during mediation are ‘without prejudice’. They cannot be disclosed in court. For this reason, mediation sessions cannot be recorded. You can take notes during the sessions. The mediator can provide a written interim or final summary of the agreements you have reached. Your mediator will charge a fee for writing the report.
There are some exceptions to the confidentiality principle, for example, when a child is at risk.
Self-determination.
While the mediator facilitates the process, you and your former partner are in control of it. You decide what is discussed, how long the process takes, and what agreements are made. The mediator provides structure to the mediation process and supports you in exploring your options.
Voluntariness.
You can choose whether or not to participate in mediation. You can withdraw from the process at any stage. Mediation is not suitable if one participant is coerced into mediation or if mediation puts them at risk.
If any of the principles of mediation are compromised, the mediator may choose to terminate the mediation.
The process
- Intake form. You complete and return an intake form to the mediator.
- Individual meeting. Each of you has a 50-minute information and assessment meeting with the mediator.
- Agreement to mediate. If mediation is recommended and you both agree to proceed, you sign an agreement to mediate.
- Mediation sessions. The first session is arranged, either in person or online. Each meeting lasts 80 minutes. Sessions are booked one at a time, with the spacing between them based on your needs.
The mediation summary
- At the end of mediation, you will be encouraged to seek independent legal advice on the arrangements you have discussed. It is always a good idea to seek this advice. Your lawyer may identify issues you have overlooked. If necessary, you can return to mediation or take another route to finalise the arrangements.
- The mediator can prepare an interim or final summary of arrangements reached. This document is privileged: you may share it with your legal team, but it cannot be disclosed to a court.
Fees:
The cost of mediation sessions is shared equally between the participants. Please note that family mediation is not covered by insurance.
What other options do we have?
If you or the person you wish to mediate with does not want to proceed with mediation, or if mediation reaches an impasse, there are alternatives available.
- You can resolve matters privately between the two of you, or with the help of an outsider, such as a trusted family member or friend. This is the most flexible and cost-effective option for settling matters.
- You can negotiate with the help of a collaborative family lawyer. The collaborative process aims to meet the needs of the children and find a settlement that is fair for both participants. The process is voluntary, with the aim of avoiding litigation.
- You can take the matter to court. Litigation is often not only costly but also a lengthy process.
- You can seek independent family arbitration. The costs associated with this can be substantial.
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